It’s been a month and a half, give or take, since my last post, so I didn’t do very well with posting more often like I had wanted to, Sometimes getting started is the hardest part.
That kinda ties in with what I wanted to talk about today. Talking about it is hard, because it’s part of the problem I have with comparing myself to others. I hate divulging my weaknesses, so hopefully this will be cathartic for me.
I’ve struggled with it my whole life and there have been so many times that comparison has crippled me and made it hard, sometimes impossible, to move forward with something I want to do. I’ll get excited about an idea or project and find myself dumping the whole thing, because it’s “not as good as someone else's”. I find it hard to be satisfied with my own unique talents. I know, intellectually, that I am good at a lot of things and I find myself feeling really proud of things that I create or accomplish, but I often end up with something that looks too much like someone else’s and I am unhappy with that as well. Have you ever felt like this? I can’t be the only one.
Now that I have verbalized it, so to speak, I am hoping that I can work on NOT doing it. I’ve never told another person about this. I want to break this cycle, because I know that, until I do, I’m holding myself back from just having fun with things and enjoying the outcome.
To begin with, I’m not going to try to be “Little-Suzy-Perfect-Blog” like so many I see. People with expensive, move-in-ready homes, who can do all things and be all things without ever breaking a sweat. My life is chaotic and certainly not perfect. I want to be real and be ME. I wish me luck!